Golden egg
(source: ammcollision)
"How are you holding up, Diana?" the farm owner said.
"Not too well. We have no way of making money at the moment and I'm afraid the girls and I will starve," Diana replied.
"Well, I'll tell you what. Donnie was the hardest worker I have ever had the pleasure of having at my farm. It wouldn't be right if I didn't do something to help his family."
The farm owner reached into his bag and pulled out a golden egg. It was the normal size of a chicken egg, but it held its weight in gold. He handed the egg to Diana. Her hand dropped for a second as she did not expect the egg to be that heavy. It was solid gold.
"What is this?" Diana asked.
"Well, to tell you the truth, I'm not sure. I know it's gold. It's the weirdest thing. About a month ago, one of my chickens produced that rather than a traditional egg. I wasn't sure what it was so I brought it into town. They assessed it as gold and I was paid in great value. It's been producing more and more ever since. I suggest you do the same, and bring it into town to sell."
"Oh...oh my. I don't know how to ever thank you."
"No need to, I would do anything for Donnie. I'll tell you what. Every week, I will bring you one of these eggs until you are able to get back on your feet."
So this arrangement worked well for several months. The farm owner would come to Diana's house and deliver her an egg from his bag. Diana would then go into town and exchange the egg for money. It was with this that she was able to provide for herself and her daughters.
One day, the farmer came to Diana's house just like any normal weekly visit. When he stepped into the home, he pulled out his bag and handed Diana an egg.
"Let me ask you something," Diana said.
"Yes?" the farm owner responded.
"How many eggs do you have in that bag? Why don't you just give me a few so I am even more well off than I already am?"
"I do not carry any more eggs with me than the single one I bring to you once week."
"You lie!"
Diana grabbed the bag and shook everything out. A few common essentials fell out including a driver's license, cash, and a lighter. Diana looked down at the pile in shock. The man looked at her with a sense of absolute disgust.
"You have shown me something today that I did not think existed in you. You have doubted my good intentions. I do not think I can continue to honor our agreement." the farm owner said as he walked out the door.
Diana stood there with her mouth still wide open. She could not believe what she had just done. Now, she and her daughters were defenseless against the world. They still had some money for now, but that was eventually going to run out. What then? Nothing but hopelessness.
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Author's note: I modeled this story completely after the story with the title: The Mallard that Asked for Too Much. In this story, a husband dies and he is resurrected as a mallard with golden feathers. He flies to the home of his wife and children and claims to be their husband/father. He told them to take one feather from him each day. One day, the wife grew greedy and plucked every feather from the mallard. The golden feathers then became those of a normal mallard. In my story, I believe it is extremely similar to that of the tale with some details changed. I wanted to keep the lesson the same but changing how the gold is given to the wife. The story I wrote is modernized by the fact that they live in the state of Kentucky. I really enjoyed writing this story simply because I think the reality of the plot is extremely true in nature. A chicken that produces a golden egg is obviously fictional, but the fact that someone would take advantage of someone else's generosity definitely is not. People tend to grow greedy when they are continuously rewarded with objects of material wealth. It's human nature to want more of this new-found wealth.
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Bibliography: Shedlock's Eastern Stories and Legends
Hi Nick! I really liked how you wrote this story! It was very sad that the husband died, then that his family was struggling after his death. What is even more sad than either of those things was that his wife didn't trust the man who was just trying to help them out while they got back on their feet. Very good job with writing to really articulate that!
ReplyDeleteWell done in bringing us down the sad road of this story and then surprising us at the end with the woman's greed ultimately ending it all! I think the final sentence could really drive home the concept a little harder than your current sentence if you feel up to editing. Something just a little stronger might work better here, in my opinion. Even a slight change, perhaps something like, 'She sat down, with her head in her hands, in despair and hopelessness at the life now before her.'
ReplyDeleteI've not read the original source story, so I appreciated your Author's Note being very clear about it. I also think it worked really well to keep much of the story the same, though the modernization of it was definitely appreciated. Well done!
A few gramatical errors: " I suggest to do the same." It should read something like "I suggest YOU to do the same."
"So these arrangement worked well for several months." You either need to add an s to arrangment to make it plural, so that your choice of word "these" will work, or you need to change 'these' to 'this arrangement worked well....'
"Now, she and her daughters were defensiveness against the world." I think you ment defenseless instead of defensiveness
I really enjoyed reading this story. I got the golden egg feeling from the start of the story and I thought it was very kind of the man to offer the family of his former employ gold. He brought it to them every week and just gave it to them without expecting anything from them. She got greedy which would happen instead of being contend and finding a job she was just waiting around. This just shows the human nature. I really enjoyed this story.
ReplyDeleteI remember reading the story that your story is based on. I remember the wife being greedy in that story too, right? I love how you wrote this story. I didn't expect the farm owner to be so caring to the family. I thought he'd expect something in return for helping them. Because of that, I understand why he did what he did in the end. He probably never thought Diana would accuse him of any wrong doing. You did a great job with this!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this story! I got the message from the story immediately based on the title and the first few sentences. I loved the message because I feel like it is something very common in life today. Human nature is trending more so towards that and it is always helpful to be reminded of the lesson. It was really sad how the husband died in the beginning but even more disappointing that she did not trust the man who was helping her out and get back onto her feet. I thought that the farm owner would eventually expect something in return or ask for something, but he never did and ended up being betrayed by her. Overall, I really enjoyed this read and loved the message.
ReplyDeleteWow, I love the twist! I felt so bad for Diana at the beginning but then she just got too greedy. It's a pretty cynical take on the world but true to the original. I hope Diana learns her lesson and doesn't take golden eggs for granted again. I really like the way you adapted it by making it a weekly delivery of golden eggs and I like the way you simplified it so the husband didn't have to come back as a mallard.
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