The lake inspiration
(source: wikipedia)
"Paul, I really want to go out and do something," Michelle said abruptly.
"What did you have in mind?" Paul replied.
"You know that forest about a mile south of our complex?"
"I think so."
"Let's go explore it!"
Paul eagerly agreed and the couple decided to walk to the forest as they both preferred walking over mechanical transportation. Once they arrived, they immediately made their way into woods. Paul, being an artist, was amazed at the pure beauty of the forest. He was mentally capturing inspiration for potential art pieces. Michelle, on the other hand, was busy taking pictures with her phone to post on Instagram.
"Let's go deeper!" Michelle yelled.
She grabbed Paul's hand and the couple traveled farther into the woods. The two continued their same actions with Paul's mental notes and Michelle's photo chaos. It was beginning to get dark and Paul looked at Michelle with concern.
"I think we should go back. We've been here for a few hours. I also really need something to drink."
"Fine."
The couple agreed that it might be smarter to completely travel through the forest rather than backtrack as they would reach the street at a faster rate. The wooded area was only a mile long and they both figured they were more than half way through it. They walked and suddenly came across a small body of water.
"I'm getting a drink. I can't wait any longer."
Paul walked down to the edge of the water and formed his hands into a makeshift bowl.
"Paul, no!"
"It's just water, Michelle."
"You don't know what's in there. Please, don't drink it. If you love me and trust me, you won't take a drink of that water."
"Michelle, you're being ridiculous."
Paul reached out his hands and placed them into the water. He drank a few portions and then walked back up to where Michelle was standing. She was sobbing. He was about to ask what was wrong, but then he felt a stinging in his chest. His vision became fuzzy until his body completely shut down and he collapsed to the ground.
"Paul, you idiot!"
Paul's life left his body. Michelle began to cry hysterically as she knew exactly what had happened. She had gone to the forest the day prior and completely contaminated the water with a toxin that would kill any living thing. It was a trial for her boyfriend. She led him there to test his love and trust for her. She requested that Paul not drink if he loved and trusted her. Since Paul drank, he obviously had none of this for her. She was so hurt. She walked over to the water and took a drink of the water herself. Michelle walked over to Paul's corpse and curled up beside him to meet death.
---
Author's note: This story is very loosely based off the reading as compared to my other stories. I used the idea of the Pandavas and their own test they had by the lake. They were thirsty so they decided to drink at the lake. When told not to, they disobeyed and drank anyway. This resulted in their temporary death. I decided to completely dissociate from the epic and try and create my own story with my own characters while somewhat referring to aspects from the Mahabharata. This creation of my own story was inspired from reading the stories of others in this course. A fair share of students in this class have used certain situational pieces from the epic and morphed them into a modern-day scenario. This is where my story took place as I used two college-aged kids living in their own apartment. The setting is clearly modern as pointed out by my reference to Instagram. I also would like to explain why the murder occurred. Michelle's actions were explained due to her mental condition which caused her to act illogically and reluctantly murder her boyfriend. Knowing my fair share about mental illness, I know there are delusions and hallucinations associated with schizophrenia. These misfortunes cause paranoia which are more than likely to trigger erratic behavior.
---
Bibliography: Narayan's Mahabharata
Link to this reading guide
Oh my goodness, I loved this story! I love the way you wrote the plot and how you developed the characters. When I saw the picture and started reading the story, I was curious how you were going to adapt the original to your idea. I think you did an amazing job. I didn't see that twist at the end coming. I audibly said "woah" when I got to that part. You did a really great job! This is probably one of my favorite stories I've gotten to read.
ReplyDeleteThis was a great story! You developed the characters’ personalities very well. It was so easy to read! I liked how the story was only loosely based off of the original scene, yet I knew all along exactly what scene you were referring to. This was very well executed and I really enjoyed reading it! It was a sad ending, but a great story.
ReplyDeleteI liked the story. It was really interesting that you completely left the characters and did your own story, but based off of what happened by the lake when the brothers were thirsty. What upset me about Michelle was how she completely disregarded everyone else during her test. The animals that drink from the stream, and the other people other than her test.
ReplyDeleteWow! This was absolutely incredible. I didn't see the ending coming at all...it was so shocking! I think that the way you wrote this story was very impressive. I like how modern you made it and all the detail you put into...where they were living, why they both attended the university, what they were majoring in. It really made the characters come alive. It is so sad that poor Michelle struggled with such a terrible mental illness and that she didn't feel like she could trust the man who loved her so much. It shows just how great of a guy Paul is for working with her to overcome the struggles that come along with schizophrenia. As I was reading and getting closer to the end, I was thinking just how sad it was that Michelle's distrust of Paul is what lead to the death of her and her lover. One thing I thought was very interesting was the fact that Michelle was taking pictures while Paul was taking mental notes for art...you would think it'd be the other way around! Like I said previously, this was great!
ReplyDeleteI loved reading this story. I liked the plot of the story with the in-depth descriptions of both the characters to start the story. I also liked how you basically did your own complete story based off of the brothers by the lake. The modernizing of the story was a great touch. I even liked in the beginning how you mentioned Netflix because it is definitely apart of every college student's life. All of the little details at the start in the introduction made the story that much better. I felt bad for Paul while reading the story because of he was such a great guy but would repeatedly get questioned by Michelle because of her disease. It was a very sad ending to the story, but I loved reading the story and thought it was a great read.
ReplyDelete:( wow this was such a depressing story. Most of your other stories are so sad too! I "like" how Michelle's schizophrenia and paranoia brought down their relationship, and it really does reflect what happens to some people with mental illnesses, but it was just so sad! I wish they had had a happy ending but I guess no gods are going to bring them back.
ReplyDelete