Sita in the fire
(Source: pinterest)
When Sita approached Rama's desired meeting place, she was somewhat shocked to behold the plethora of civilians gathered to view her reunion with Rama. Sita's ecstatic mood overtook her as she could not be more overjoyed to have so many individuals witness the beauty of her husband's embrace. She rushed over to Rama and jumped into his arms.
"Darling, I've missed you so much!" she screamed.
Rama hardly returned his wife's clasp and instead looked at her with hesitation. He was clearly cold and off-putting which raised a concern in Sita.
"What is wrong? You have defeated Ravana! Why are you treating your wife this way? Please, tell me what is on your mind!" Sita pleaded desperately.
"Well, it would be sort of odd if a man was so eager to let his wife back into his home after she spent some time in the home of another," Rama replied.
"You think that I am impure?" Sita asked in shock.
"I'm not jumping to any assumptions, but it would be nice if there was some sort of solid evidence that suggested otherwise."
"I will give you your proof! Lakshmana, light a fire!"
Lakshmana looked at his brother with concern. Rama gave no protest, so Lakshmana did as commanded and started a fire in front of the crowd. The flames began to grow with intimidation until they reached heights that surpassed any man present. Sita approached the dancing flames and looked over at Rama with rage in her eyes.
"Agni, god of fire, prove my purity!"
Sita then walked into the flames and began to howl in pain. The flesh started to melt from her bone and she continued to cry out in agony. Absolute horror filled Sita's eyes as she knew that her test was not working as she predicted.
"What is happening? Agni, why have you betrayed me?" Sita screamed.
The crowd began to panic and scatter. Lakshmana bolted toward the fire but Rama held out an arm to stop him. The shrieks of Sita were enough to make anyone's stomach churn. The cries for a savior continued until the deterioration of Sita's anatomy no longer allowed it. Life left Sita's body and she became nothing but ash.
Rama walked away with a slight grin on his face. His plan had worked. He knew how her brain operated. He easily predicted that Sita would call upon the god of fire to prove her purity if Rama showed disgust during the reunion. Rama made a serviceable sacrifice prior to their meeting in return for the death of his wife. He wanted to watch her burn.
Rama had grown tired of Sita's presence. The entire period of her kidnapping allowed for a sense of freedom that Rama enjoyed immensely. He no longer had to deal with the pestering nature of Sita when she had to know each and every little detail of his life. He now possessed limitless possibilities for the next step in his existence. The world was his.
Rama had grown tired of Sita's presence. The entire period of her kidnapping allowed for a sense of freedom that Rama enjoyed immensely. He no longer had to deal with the pestering nature of Sita when she had to know each and every little detail of his life. He now possessed limitless possibilities for the next step in his existence. The world was his.
"Finally, I'm away from that nagging woman," Rama sighed.
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Author's note: For this story, I thought it would be interesting to contradict the characteristics of Rama. During the reading of the Ramayana, there were several situations that portrayed Rama as possessing morally-sound character. In this story, he simply kills his wife because he is tired of the burden. This is obviously unethical and completely against the actions of the actual Rama. My goal was to create a complete opposite of our hero. Rama would never kill his wife just because he is tired of her. In this story, he does. This shows Rama in a light that the masses would not see possible. I also wanted to focus on the subtle nature of Rama's indirect murder of Sita. Even though he physically did nothing to her, he set up the situation that would allow for her to be killed. This was evident in knowing his wife would turn to the god of fire to prove her purity. In doing this, Rama was able to sabotage the ritual by making his own sacrifice prior to their meeting. Another thing worth noting is the fact that Rama will be able walk away from this situation with his reputation unharmed. Everyone will still see him as the man of good character when in all actuality he just murdered his wife.
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Bibliography: Narayan's Ramayana
Link to this reading guide
I'm happy that I came across your story, because I'm sure many people wonder why Rama questioned Sita's loyalty since she never questioned his. The added backstory about Rama offering a sacrifice for Agni to take her life was a great idea, and it would be interesting if you added a part delving into Sita's thoughts. Maybe she was unfaithful and she felt sorry? Or maybe even the thoughts of Agni. Perhaps he knows of Sita's infidelity or perhaps he even knows she was faithful and wants to split up Rama and Sita for some reason? It would add an extra dimension to your story (which is already well-written, by the way). The section describing the flames sounded really good. The phrase "grow with intimidation" really paints a picture. Of course, the ending was unexpected and a great idea. Reading about Rama's "slight grin" was scary, since we wouldn't expect him to be so evil.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Morghan. You wrote a really, really, really good story. Sita had to proved innocent and pure because of the rumors and gossips of the people of the city. They said that she should not be accepted again because she lived with someone else for so long, so in order to prove her innocence and purity, she had to go through the test of fire.
ReplyDeleteWell, there’s definitely a wow moment in this story! To be honest, when I started reading the story, I was a little bored, but that ending was definitely a bit of an eye opener! I like that you decided to contradict the personality of Rama that is portrayed throughout the Ramayana. I’m pretty sure my mouth dropped open when I read that last line! I do think you could probably add some more detail towards the end of the story. You could possibly give a little bit of an insight into what Rama is thinking, or maybe even Lakshmana, when Sita asks that a fire be lit to prove her purity. I think it could add a little more drama to the story without taking away from the jaw-dropping line at the end of the story. You could even skim through the first half a little faster to put the emphasis on the last part of the story.
ReplyDeleteI liked how you twisted the ending of the story. I assumed from the reading of the story that Sita would have proven her purity, and then Rama would accept her, but the way how you let her die just so Rama could see it in front of his own eyes was cruel. I wonder why Rama wanted to see how she would prove her purity in front of everyone. Was this test really for himself, or was it so show everyone that she was pure and pretty much to shut them up. You didn't really explain why he made the sacrifice, or wanted to see his wife die. Maybe I just didn't understand it, but I assume from the text he just wanted to see her die because he was convinced from everyone she was impure.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed how your story had a surprise ending. I had assumed that Sita would prove her innocence, but once I continued reading I realized that was not the case. I really enjoyed the twist and I agree with Morghan reading about Rama's slight grin was a bit creepy because it showed a very different side of him than what we were used to in the story.
ReplyDeleteHey Nick, I like the twist you gave to this story and his character. That is completely out of character for Rama and that is why I like what you have done with him. You could never in your wildest dreams even imagine that Rama would do something like that. This made the story a really nice surprise to read and just very refreshing.
ReplyDeleteThis was a really interesting twist to the story. It caught me off guard! I think your story was extremely well written. You completely changed the character of Rama, and that isn't something that I have seen many people do. It definitely surprised me. The story started off very similar to the original, but then got very creepy. This was a much sadder and scarier ending, but you wrote it very well.
ReplyDeleteWhat a surprising end! I enjoyed the layout you used as well; it makes is much easier for the reader to follow along with the dialogue.
ReplyDeleteWhen Sita begins to walk in the fire you might add that she continuously prayed to Agni to prove her purity and how she was not afraid for she knew she was pure. This would give the reader firm knowledge that Sita indeed did nothing wrong to make Rama not want her.
When the reader finds out what Rama had done it would make the reader even more shocked about his actions. You might even add Lakshmana's reaction to Rama's ill givings to Sita to add more drama to the story.
It will be interesting to see which way you take your portfolio. Will Rama be the antagonist and Ravana turn into the protagonist or will Rama just simply be the lesser of the two evils.
So many ways you can take this interesting twist!
This story took such a wild twist! I honestly wasn't expecting anything like it because I've read several pieces where people tried to justify Rama's actions over the past few weeks, so this was definitely a surprise. There was just one thing I didn't quite understand, though. What about her did Rama find so intolerable? He says that he's finally free of that nagging woman, but what kind of events passed to make her appear that way to him? In the story, we're told that she's especially devoted, but was she just clingy? How would you explain Rama's reasoning besides "just because"? Could Sita have actually been unfaithful? What prompted Agni, a god to value a sacrifice over the cries of a pure and devout woman? Those are a lot of questions, but perhaps in your revision you could address some of them to give readers a little more insight into the characters' minds. I like the twist on Rama, but I can't understand his cruelty yet.
ReplyDeleteThis was such an incredible twist that you wrote! The way that Sita would still sacrifice herself to prove her purity to Rama, and yet all Rama wanted to do was get rid of her was very interesting and fun to read. As I was reading, I was wondering what deal Rama made with Agni. What did he trade so that Agni would make sure Sita would die, even though she was pure? Were there any specific things that Sita did that made Rama angry? Was she clingy? Was she too distant? Did she not cook well? Did Rama regret having Sita killed? What if Lakshamana went in to rescue Sita and they ended up together? What if the reason why Rama was so cruel was because of all the tasks he's had to go throughout the whole Ramayana? Overall, I really enjoyed reading this story! It made you think about Rama in a cruel way rather than him putting others before himself.
ReplyDeleteHi Nick! What an interesting turn of events! The idea of making Rama turn on Sita was such a creative idea since we are so use to reading about how Rama and Sita are so in love with each other. I really enjoyed how you formatted your writing as it makes it so much easier on the eye to read. I wonder what Sita would think of the whole situation if she were able to. Maybe you could make it so that she becomes a ghost and therefore is able to see what had happened to her. If you decide to add a sequel to the story and decide that you want Rama to be nice a pure again, you could use Sita. She would haunt him and make him pay for what he did for her. Just a little suggestion though. Overall, I really enjoyed your story. Many of the stories that I have read tend to make me lose interest because they lack an effective climax. However, you did an excellent job at surprising the reader. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteI forgot to mention last time that the picture being in the beginning of the story, sets the mood of the story. I already felt apathetic to Sita. just from looking at the image. After rereading you story, I just wanted to add a few things. I reread for any grammatical mistakes, and flow of the story. The flow was great so there was no need to change anything in that sense. I just found just two things that may or may not need another look at. In the author's note the sentence with "worth noting is the fact that Rama will be able walk away from this" is missing a "to" after the word "able". I am not sure but when Sita calls Agni, should she say, "the god of fire" instead of just "god of fire"? (If not, I apologize) Everything else looks good. Keep up the good work and creativity.
ReplyDeleteSo I expected this to just be the classic love story I read a few weeks ago but just expanded. I was not prepared for that twist at the end! I literally sat here with my mouth open because I did not see that coming at all.
ReplyDeleteParagraph 1: possibly use another word to say "death" like "gone"? It just seemed repetitive with "death" and "dead" so close to each other.
Paragraph 1: comma needed
"He informed her that her husband awaited their reunion, and she was to dress in the most beautiful fabrics."
Honestly, other than these two, I couldn't find anything else wrong with your story. I think it flowed really well, and I especially loved how you showed Sita's passion for Rama. From the beginning where she cried out thinking her husband died to her jumping on him as soon as they met, showed her great love. I loved reading this story. I think you did a really good job.
Wow! I was not expecting this at all. So many renditions of this story not only purify Sita but empower her and make her seem even stronger than the original story in the Ramayana. You took that and completely turned it on its head and I loved it. I was shocked at how vivd you mad that seen. It's hard to make such a gruesome scene so vivid in writing, but you sure did it well. I'm glad you wrote this story in a way that was not expected. It kept me on my toes wanting to know how this story "wouldn't go as planned"
ReplyDeleteHey Nick! Wow what a completely different version of this story than we have previously read! At first I thought that you would save Sita by having her transformed into something, or that she would just have some burns from the fire. But to completely kill her off was totally unexpected! And then to explain the reasoning with Rama being the murderer, I was waiting for M. Night Shyamalan’s name to be at the end of this story. After reading your author’s note things made a little more sense because you wanted to create a very alternate personality of Rama in this story, which you succeeded at! I think adding a little more dialogue before jumping into the fire scene might have been good. As well as changing it a bit more from the original to give it a feel that matches your story more. All in all well done!
ReplyDeleteWHOA. Serious, major, incredible plot twist!!!! To say I didn't see that one coming would be an understatement. I honestly would have ever thought to change the story in this way. I wrote one about her test of purity but rather I had her leave Rama after she proved her purity. Turing Rama completely against Sita was an awesome idea. You used great imagery in your story and I really liked the way you wrote your dialogue. I only saw one typo...
ReplyDelete"The flesh started to melt from her bone and she continued to cry out in agony."
This does sound alright but I feel that using "bones" instead of "bone" might make it better.
This was definitely one of my top favorite stories I've read this semester. I'm so glad I clicked on your portfolio. Great work!
I have read this story before, but no matter how many times I choose to read it, it never fails to surprise me! I really like how you gave the entire story a twist and how! Rama's final grin says it all, and to think that he doubted Sita when he wanted to get rid of her. This is one of my top stories that I have read as well. I really enjoyed it! I am so glad that you chose to include it in your portfolio! I didn't see anything wrong with the story at all. In fact I found it to be very well written. The plot twist was unexpected, the flow and organization was on point, and it was incredibly engaging to the reader. Well done!
ReplyDelete