Rama and Lakshmana
(source: writingcave)
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Your explanation on the story was short and too the point. You did not give away a lot of details on what actually happened in the story. While also hooking them onto the story itself with them wanting to know more about what happened and what purity test you were talking about, since she has to prove herself to rama twice. I think though that if you included a picture, it would be better since they could actually have a visual aide. This way they have an image to go off from. You story was really interesting though, you changed the character of rama completely from his original personality. He is no longer the guy that loves his wife and wants to keep her with him at all times, instead he saves his wife from the monster and then ends up manipulating her to the point of death. She tries to prove herself innocent and kills herself in the process.
ReplyDeleteI really like what you've done here with this story and the portfolio overall. It was a fun read so thank you for sharing it with us. I think you did a very good job of keeping the story short but still very much to the point. When I took a writing class in advanced fiction writing at OU, we were always told that a story should contain everything it needs to contain and nothing more. The implication is obviously that pieces should avoid superfluous information and unnecessary pieces that don't add much and I think you've done a pretty good job of keeping your pieces short and to the point. The story definitely leaves me as the reader wanting more. It is beautifully tragic in many ways and I think you've done a pretty good job with it. Well done, thanks for sharing, and good luck with any and all revisions!
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